Women's Life Link Be Well, Be Happy, Be YOU!
All couples go through problems occasionally. It is a normal part of being in a relationship with someone. If you want to know how to manage relationship problems, know there are many ways to have a good outcome. However, the solution has everything to do with your specific situation. Though the following tips may not work for everyone, they are worth your time and best effort. Let’s discuss several ways to deal directly with concerns and issues in your relationship.
Talk/Communicate
Make a point to communicate with one another. Talking through problems is an imperative way to expose core issues and barriers to true expression of love. If a lot of time has passed since you’ve talked, I recommend starting slowly with mild issues and work your way up to tougher topics. Talking also allows you both share your feelings and perspective about whatever is going on. Remember the point isn’t to agree on everything, it’s to better understand each other where you are.
Verbally expressing feelings doesn’t come easily for some people, especially men or those who have experienced certain kinds of trauma. In this case, talking could stir up negative feelings that make sharing openly difficult. Be gentle with one another by asking what they feel confortable with. Doing this shows love and a caring nature that is needed to overcome relationship problems.
Get Counseling
Occasionally, couples find working through problems easier with the help of a counselor. With good relationship counseling, you can sort out your issues more effectively with professional mediation and exercises. There is something powerful about having a non-judgemental third party present, listening to you and seeing things that you might have missed.
Professional counselors are trained to recognize patterns that cause issues between two people. These issues might be completely unknown to one or both of you. It is their goal to find new ways you both can express yourselves healthily and effectively. The key, however, is applying what you learn in their office when you are alone with your significant other.
Avoid Blame
An important thing to embrace whenever you try to manage relationship problems is to avoid blaming one another. Blaming can happen accidentally or intentionally because it is a natural and common human trait. Go into any discussions with focus and compassion for each other. Consider their perspective as much as you can before you open your mouth. Being completely honest with yourself first makes falling into the blaming trap less likely. Personally blaming or criticizing your partner isn’t going to solve problems. It usually makes things worse by alienating the person you want to find common ground with.
Own Your Feelings
One helpful act that goes with avoiding blame is to own your feelings. Owning your feelings effectively means you allow honesty to be at the forefront of time together. You do not project or put complex feelings on the other person. This could be a pattern for you or your partner, making feeling safe difficult at best. Being real with yourself helps keep emotions level and shows real love and concern for the other person. This is one thing that a couselor can help with if it seems too challenging.
Every couple has times when they need to manage relationship problems. Remember doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is insansity. Take control sooner than later by trying the basics first. You will know when you both are ready to move into more complex strategies of relationship development
