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Getting neglected by your partner can be a harrowing experience. The experience can leave you feeling depressed, inadequate, and lonely. After all, this is someone you’ve dedicated your time and attention to. Shouldn’t he or she give the same in return consistently? The answer to this is unfortunately not that simple. Because each person and relationship is different, there are no set rules or expectations for how much attention should be given.
Relationships are complicated, period. Though your partner could be neglecting you, the problem could also be that your expectations are out of line. The distance you feel could also be the result of how you feel about yourself and your insecurities.
Dealing with neglect is a complicated process and one that deserves your attention. Though it may not be at a critical stage, consulting with a therapist, support group, or self-help books could help you to navigate your feelings and how to express them. Should things get more serious or reveal a true problem that isn’t fixable, a divorce attorney such as one from http://divorceattorneystulsa.net/ can help you work through steps to end your relationship.
Don’t Make Unfounded Accusations
In any relationship, it’s a bad idea to make unfounded accusations. It creates distance and is unfair if there’s no evidence that they’re not living up to their responsibilities. Before making any accusation, make sure that you have all the proof you need to confront your partner with what you know. Try asking questions about why they haven’t kept up their end of the bargain rather than launching into a tirade. Being Socratic should yield
Don’t Be a Victim
What your partner does isn’t always a reflection of you as a person. They can behave terribly, without you having done anything to provoke it. It’s important to realize that there isn’t much that you can do to control this. Yes, you want to be a wonderful person and devote yourself to them, but that doesn’t guarantee that they will do the same in return.
Realizing that your relationship is bigger than your behavior is a great way to help you step outside of the conflict and focus on the real problem. Your partner could be neglecting your needs because he/she has lost interest, but more likely it’s something else. Painting yourself as a victim denies you the opportunity to discover what these issues are.
Don’t Be Needy
Being needy is another common defensive behavior. When we are unsure about what our partner is thinking or feeling, we tend to reach out to appease our feelings of rejection. Stopping yourself from being needy is tough: it’s a basic human requirement to be needed by another person. Being needy, however, might be the opposite of what your partner wants, and could push them further away.
Don’t Leave Out Important Details
What your partner says can sometimes, indirectly, provide you with valuable information about what is happening. Often our partners want to tell us something, but don’t feel able to and so remain distant. Be a good listener and meditate on what is being said without reading into it too much. Pay particular attention to things that don’t make sense or contradict other things that have been said in the past.
Feeling neglected isn’t always a sign that you need to change according to https://drkahner.com/. It can also be a good indication that the relationship is dysfunctional and not serving your best interests. Always speak to a trusted counselor if you feel that your spouse or significant other isn’t meeting your basic needs.
